Deep calls to deep...

"There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveler." Bonhoeffer

As I sit writing and listening to the stilling voice of the ocean, I recollect the ways Hurricane Katrina continues to feed my soul. 10 yrs. The forcefulness of that day spun my heart into a stage of grief that has been navigated in purpose by the Lord. It taught me the deep measures of God's relentless love and the worthy pursuit of the refinement in the time of waiting in the unknown. Thankful for the painful roots of teaching found in these truths-

Even still, He is good.

Tho the sea billows roll, it is well with my soul.

Today, I sit among the calm seas and remember that God's story never ends with ashes.

Grief anchors. Its forceful hand paralyzes the functionality of normal. The loneliness ushered by its neglected approach of community can feed a soul deep lies of oppression. Yet, when the impact is met being deeply called, a miracle happens: Healing occurs.

"Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life." Ps 42:7-8

A day marked with collective grief and shattered dreams, I felt the deep roars of every breaker and every wave forcefully crashing over me. It was an unknown turn that completely shifted every direction I was traveling.
Life goals. Community. Investment. Status.
C.S. Lewis said it best as he voiced, "faith is the art of holding onto something, despite the changing moods and circumstances." 10 yrs later and I can look back and see how those turns taught me that I am always tempted to hold onto those same releases in every season. And yet, with each grief that anchors, the journey remains. By day, the Lord commands His steadfast love. Deep keeps calling to deep. And with Him as God of my life, promises are fulfilled in every season.
Healing salves the wounds.

'Deep calls to deep'...vividly, I still remember the impact of grief from Katrina, yet 10 years I can add depths of grief to its breakers and waves. I have witnessed very few live seasons without some type of grief: loss of loved ones, dreams shattered by unfulfilled yearnings, transitions between seasons. Grief ensues from holding onto something that is altered by circumstances. I value being able to say that with each deep need God has met me with his deep grace.

'All your breakers and your waves have gone before me'- Bonhoeffer articulated, "God does not give us everything we want but he does fulfill his promises leading us along the best and straightest paths to himself." As sea billows roll, I am amazed at how perfectly God works to position Himself to go before His loved one. What I have heard voiced the deepest in grief is "I am in deep waters." Some days it can feel like the crash of them will surely drown its victim. Yet, in others, it serves as an anchor keeping one afloat. There have been many deep waters, but God is with me in them all-Always before me, positioning Himself to lead me to His best intended destination.

'By day': Lord commands His steadfast love
'At night': His song is with me.
               A prayer to the God of my life.
Steadfastness has quickly taken root as one of my most loved attributes of My Father. In this world my hope can easily become entangled in desiring others to show up in certain ways. Grief brings a need to replace what was lost, even though nothing could ever compare to its unique treasure. Yet, the enemy awaits in grief to usher loneliness, disappointment and insecurities because emotions of feeling uncared for seep their way into thought and heart. When steadfastness takes root first, then there is no room for hope to remain anywhere else than what's quenching the thirst.
God's ability to show His steadfast love amidst chaos and brokenness remains a continual prayer of gratitude in my heart.

10 years later: Married to a husband who demonstrates His steadfastness. 3 kids who teach me daily of His grace.
Pain from lost loved ones still healing, temptation of heart to hold onto circumstances:
                                         Deep keeps calling to Deep.
                                                            His Steadfast Love Remains.

As the Spirit lingers...

"When a text grabs our attention, we must allow it time to do its work. The Spirit's use of the sword of God's Word (Hebrews 4:12) to pierce into our deep places and bring about sanctification and transformation doesn't always fit neatly into a daily devotional time or a Bible reading plan. Sometimes we need to clear our devotional schedule and linger over a text and wrestle with it, and probe into it, and let it probe into us. Unhurried meditation is what leads to the mind's transformation (romans 12:2), which leads to behavioral application, which leads to lifestyle transformation. Such meditation may only require ten minutes, or it may take ten months. However, the Spirit leads, linger." John Piper

Having 3 babies in 3 years has rocked my 'quiet time' needless to say. I have learned that I rest very well in uninterrupted early morning times with the Lord, and that when those moments are interrupted, that I wrestle with the shaken peace I feel as a result. I have harbored bitterness over early wakers, resentment on comparison of other families who don't have them, and I have been disconnected from the Lord out of my attempt to control that 'sacred hour of quiet time'. These past few months have restored my weary soul so deeply having all 3 kiddos sleeping till 630 and I have had a solid 5-630 in the Word. Sounds so peaceful as I have had my own time to drink an entire cup of hot coffee without reheating it, time to listen to sharpening messages studying Scriptures, prayer time with my husband, and time to journal. My responses toward my day then extended out of a restored, sustained, and encouraged heart. Then my precious 2 yr old figured out a 5am wake up, to which he opens his door, and finds his brother and sister to also wake them up. My hot coffee becomes cold, my scripture reading becomes 1 scripture instead of a chapter, and no quiet moments for prayer time. So, this morning, I brought in my crew, gathered them around a Veggie Tales episode on Jonah and sat in front of John Piper's words written above. "However, the Spirit leads, linger." 

Isaiah 46:4 (NIV) version was my linger. 

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you, I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." 

ESV version sustain is voiced as carry. Sustain is also mentioned as 'I have made, and I will bear.' 

This chapter is on Idolatry and how God is teaching the people to have an eye to God in his Word, not in an image. That they should depend on that and GOd's promise to accomplish them all. 

V. 10- "My counsel shall stand; and I will accomplish all my purpose." 

As I lingered on these 2 verses this morning, I felt some truths I have been meditating on resonate in this interrupted quiet time for me. 

 

*  In my painful times, God is strengthening me- In my peaceful times, God is restoring me. But all the time, God is loving me.  

ps. 55:22 tells me that if I "Cast my burdens on the Lord, that He will sustain me, He will never permit me to be moved." 

It is so easy for me to miss the point as I fixate on my restoring times to be quiet, to be in my scheduled control, and to be  the necessity for my day in order to respond in grace. But my spiritual life is sustained by his grace as necessarily and constantly as my natural life by his providence. 

Read a simple, yet profound statement to my heart: "God does not call us to a place, He calls us to Himself." Back to Isaiah 46, I had created 5am solitude with the Lord as my idol, the image of the connection with God I valued as my place. But this week has reminded me that God is a person, not a place of time, but that His Spirit lingers with me thru all interruptions. 

Time is IN His hands- He created it- He bears it with me- and He sustains me in His Word no matter how long of His words I receive in a day. He bears the interruptions, rescues us from its impact, and sustains us in life in Him, despite the circumstances at hand. 

In this season, my interruptions for that sacred hour is little feet hitting the ground running, but I yearn to feel that place of God in Himself and not in my hour. But, that as Elisabeth Elliot voiced, "The heart set to do the Father's will need never fear defeat." Interruptions in my quiet time is not defeat, but its a moment in time where God is teaching me how to linger in His Spirit. 

Time affects so many things: Bad news can devastate an hour to linger with a paralyzing difficulty to focus on God's Word and in that time, the Spirit lingers. When a busy schedule affects the length of time to stay in the Word- meditate on it, study it- the Spirit lingers. His counsel stands no matter the stopped moments in the day. He accomplishes His purpose. 

SO, no matter how your day begins and no matter how it ends, God loves you every second of the day. He holds you steady not because you stop, but because He is the Great 'I AM". He never changes, He never forsakes, He always extends His Steadfast love. 

If you are reading this, know that I am praying for you. I am praying for how God is teaching you to linger in His Word. For it holds the pursuing heart of our Lord, Our Savior, our Rock and our Fortress. His Word holds all of His promises that He will accomplish. Let it linger in your day- be it 5 minutes or 1 hour and a half. Time holds no merit for who we are in Christ and for His purpose in our life. He stands as the foundation for everything. Stand on His rock to hold you as hours feel less. Know that the place is not your identity but that God as person, is the relationship that pursues with no restraint on time. Set to do the Father's will never fearing defeat. 

I had a dream...

I rarely remember a dream and it is also a rarity that I have a recurring one that wakes me up in tears every time. But, this year- 2015- I have dreamed several times a vision of standing in Heaven on judgment day with the Lord. It has guided me in questioning the intent of my efforts in this life and I have been grateful for its impact in my days. 

Let me back up,  the beginning of the year I wrote down Jan. 1 in my journal that my strongest resolution for this year would be that I did not miss God's perspective within my day. I yearn that thru the mundane tasks, thru interrupted moments with the Lord, thru demands and busyness of my week that I would find the glimpses of grace and that I would be able to discern how to stop - to Selah (pause) and stay in a right spirit with the Lord. The Lord has graciously taught me so much this year thru Psalms 51 and some of its teachings have come from some hard ashes: "create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."  This year has brought more grief moments than seem possible to articulate. I have witnessed and experienced so many tears being poured out for the release of loved ones thru tragic force. The stretchings of this life can either draw you deeper into trusting the Lord or pull you farther from hearing His voice. I pray that my stretchings draw me deeper and deeper to trust in Him. 

Today, I was reminded of this recurring dream as I read Paul Tripp's words, "Its only in the mirror of Gods Word that you see yourself accurately, and only in his grace that you find help for what you see." Within my 2015 resolution prayer was the yearning to truly be able to love others thru Christ's unconditional steadfastness He gives me. Its natural in myself to love others out of the merits of the ways in which they receive my love and affirm it. If I extend to others to have them distant or unresponsive then I naturally want to shut down and say well what's the point. If i extend to others and there is such an inconsistent connection then naturally I feel unaffirmed in the closeness of that friendship. But, in Christ, I am free from that burden to love others merely in my own efforts. I am beyond grateful that God is pursuing my heart to the depths in this arena and that in His grace I am receiving the sanctifying work in loving others without expecting anything in return. I am a work in progress, but the freedom received in being prompted by the Spirit when to encourage others has broken so many chains for my covetous heart. 

In my dream, I am standing before my glorious Father, enthroned in majesty in Heaven, and even now I can feel the emotions of pure awe I felt in that moment. I stood my position ready to hear His voice audibly speak for the first time. Ready to receive, "well done thy good and faithful servant" that I had always been told in those Judgment house halloween church events, but He did not say that. He gently spoke, "my daughter, How did you show my love to those I put in your path?!" 

How were you patient and kind? Were you envious and boastful? How were you arrogant and rude? Were you irritable or resentful? Did you rejoice at their wrongdoings? Did you bear all things? Believe all things? Hope all things? endure all things? 

I felt my defense and I started rambling off excuses for how this person and that person made it quite difficult to show up in that way. "But Lord, I would call them and there would be no answer. I would visit them and there would be no follow up for connection. There were times their words hurt deeply, it was hard to forgive. There were times they did not show up in my suffering and I felt uncared for. and my defense continued. 

Jesus who was sitting beside the Lord as He spoke, stood up and knelt down before me, cupping my face in the palms of his hands. He gently spoke and said, "Trishia, you have watched so many enter my gates this year and you have thought of your home in Heaven more than you can count. I have you on Earth because You are the tangible way that my love is manifested in action to others. Know that I hold you still even as you await your home here with me. I lived my life on Earth so that you would have an example to follow- I died a suffering death so that all the sins you would face would not have to entangle you from seeing me- I arose from death so that you would always be free. Let me be your mirror of Gods Word and let my grace be your voice on loving others. I have placed my Spirit to dwell within you so you can love with patience, with kindness, without envy, without arrogance. Let my grace help you bear all things,  believe all things, hope all things, endure all things and let me 'create in you a clean heart, as I put a right spirit within you.' 

I am sending you back to your journey on earth because I am not finished using your life there. Be affirmed in me, and not in others responses. Be loved in my steadfastness, and not from others inconsistencies. Be content in my purpose thru you, not envious of others paths. I have you in my hands, always, and I have the scars to show you. Now, go and show that to the world around you. 

I wake up, fully amazed at the incredible specifics of that visual with the Lord. Encouraged by the pursuit it brings to put a right spirit within me. a heart free of envy, of bitterness, of resentment. Open for the Lord to pour out His love to those He has purposed to speak to thru the journey of my days. 

Rally around us...Community in Nehemiah

I voice deep gratitude for the teachings of Romans 15:4 and the truth that "for everything that was written in the past was written to teach us so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." The Lord has shown me this endurance and encouragement thru the example of Nehemiah. I find strength that the same God who led Nehemiah with a particular burden, who led him to action, and who provided the means to accomplish his purpose is the same God who has called my heart to follow the same. I do not want to see his example as just merely an encouraging story from the past but as a visual for the present in how God is working in my life to burden with the same intensity to help others rebuild their broken walls. 

I saw such specific, courageous, intentional community being played out in these verses. Here is a cup bearer to a King who connected to the plights of others because he cared about rebuilding their walls- walls that he burdened would keep them from safety if not rebuilt. Walls that propelled him to include himself in their struggle and embraced the willingness to suffer within their trenches of war and opposition. 

As I witnessed his advocacy, his compassion, I thought: 

What motivates my compassion to care about the plights of others? 

Like Nehemiah, how do we burden for walking with others, who are not flourishing, who's walls have been destroyed and need help rebuilding? 

As I was reading this powerful book of Nehemiah, I saw a group of people, in the present, who were stranded amidst ruins of walls destroyed in their life. Because of life's difficulties, it has been impossible for them to rebuild without the help of someone who burdens for them- to have someone who comes alongside their story- speaking hope and endurance into their lives and then building the walls with them so that they can harbor a safe place in their life. What would have happened to the people if Nehemiah said, not my problem. I have vividly witnessed the limitless power of God showing His work through the obedient compassion of his people. Nehemiah entered the pain of others because He had a holy discontent for something that was broken. He didn't avoid the people's problems because his empathy came from the adoration of who God is and he aligned himself to burden for what came from God's heart. 

some scriptures that I saw the images so clearly. 

2:17

nehemiah is saying- "Come, let us build the wall of Jerusalem, that we may no longer 'suffer derision'. 

I saw this image of someone coming alongside a story broken by life and needing to be shown how to flourish. 

How are we as believers praying for the ways a heart of indifference is keeping us from aligning to show God's heart to those around us? Are we in any way looking at others brokenness and saying not my problem? 

3:10- 

"The strength of those who bear the burdens is failing. There is too much rubble. By ourselves we will not be able to rebuild the wall." 

Again, i saw the community of discipleship being played out in their lives. Such a beautiful image to think about the community that would be rallied around rebuilding for the sake of Christ - He stationed the people so that in times when their strength of burden would falter, there would be a band of brothers and sisters there who care about the struggles and would uphold them. 

How are we showing vulnerability in our life to station faith filled believers around us to help bear the burden of our strength when it is failing? We need to display the need thru admitting our broken places to entrusted ones who will be willing to fight with us to rebuild those broken places in our lives. And we need to be willing to be stationed to fight for others in the way defense. 

3:14- "Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes." 

So much to this one: The power of advocacy being played out thru Nehemiah. I love seeing how God used this man to rebuild. 

I see how God is speaking thru him for us to remember- to remember the ample ways God has shown us when He has asked us to advocate for others- to burden for their livelihood and to be a part in giving them the ability to do something about it. To give up any indifferences we have built and just remember who God is and to respond to the call to fight for those who have not been able to flourish because there walls are down. 

Matt chandler spoke on God's flourishing and that he asks us to steward blessings to show that we live for the eternal. To look at others who are in less positions than we are and have empathy for how we can use our resources to show them Christ. 

How is God asking us to steward ourselves- be it thru our time and our investment or thru finances to help others flourish for what is eternal? 

3:17

"those who carried burdens were loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other." 

3:19 "The work is great and widely spread, and we are separated on the wall, far from one another. Rally to us there. Our God will fight for us." 

Community, oh the deep biblical view of community in these verses. 

Nehemiah saw the disconnect of the people as they were building and he wanted to protect their strength. He saw their distance and he brought them closer together so that they would be stronger in stance.  He stationed them to armor up as they were rebuilding so that they would not falter and be destroyed from their oppressors.  He displayed a visual of setting ourselves up for the best level of connection within the fight. Armed and Together. That there is a great response to be connected to the burden and that physical proximity allows for the best arm of defense against whatever attack assails. That as work is in place, there is a responsibility to stay armed- thru the Word, and i saw thru the power of a christian community who will spur us on to stay the course.  

Where the burden lies, you should be there also. and to set yourself up with a troop. 

How are you feeling oppressed in your life? DO you have a support that is laboring with you to fight in the Word to help you rebuild? How has a lack of intentionality to invest in community kept you separated from rebuilding the broken walls in your life? 

Oh Nehemiah 9 is rich- soo rich of God's power at work amidst His people- despite their shortcomings- and His intent for their good even when they choose the wrong way. Def suggest you reading chapter 9 at some point. But for me in reading today, it spoke into who God is and to lay down a sense of control and to trust that God is always present and to choose to see that He's guiding the way. 

9:17, 19-20

" ...But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. You in your great mercies did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillar of cloud to lead them in the way did not depart from them by day nor the pillar of fire by night to light for them the way by which they should go. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them and did not withhold your manna from their mouth and gave them water for their thirst."

My prayer thru Nehemiah is that I would take counsel as he did (v. 5:7) for himself to burden for others with a holy discontent from the Lord. I pray that I would burden for how community is extended within the lives of believers and how the disconnect affects the way the gospel is displayed to the unbelieving people around them. I take endurance in Nehemiah's belief that God will take care of us- He will provide the means to advocate for others, as He is the motivator for compassion. I pray to burden for those who need help rebuilding broken walls in their life and pray for the community to rally the troops with me. 

OUR GOD WILL FIGHT FOR US! 

I choose...

It has been 4 years since this blog has voiced teachings God is giving us in our life. Over the season from Kenya to our present, God has spoken deeply into us toward the importance of intentionality, living out the pulls of life and recognizing the vital necessity of making quiet moments before the Lord  be part of our everyday.  He has spoken into us the beauty of biblical community living out the iron sharpening iron truth, the deepening of discipleship being part of our lifestyle, and the strength of choosing where our investments lie. This blog comes from the impact of 4 years of being tried, tested, stretched, and refined. This time has revealed to us that if we don't choose to live in freedom in Christ that the enemy will find his way to enslave our hearts and that always changes perspective. So, I choose, to proclaim who God is and who i am in Him. 

I choose...

"ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name..." ps 29:2 

Listened to a sermon by John Piper that spoke about the description of Cs Lewis as possessing "omnivorous attentiveness"- defined by "taking in or using whatever is available." What an incredible prayer to become: someone who takes in and uses whatever is available in their season. He continued to voice that the opposite of this is the callous inability to enjoy God's gifts. This led me to sit before the Lord today and reflect on these past years in our Fayetteville season and to recognize the teachings that thru the various trials and stretchings that I yearn to choose to become- that this season is being held by Him and that it is intended for the display of His good...

Here is my prayer for how I yearn to choose to let this season refine in me for whatever the future holds and to be present within the everyday of this season as God purposes me to be. 

Do I believe that there is purpose and provision in my season?  

In the ways that I have met my failures in this season with guilt and shame, I pray to use them to bring me closer to the beauty of the Cross and to let the days to come display a daughter of Christ trusting in her Father, no matter the cost. 

Grayson, sage and griffin need a mother that will teach them the grace of the Cross as I embrace freedom from forgiving others wrongs. They need me fixated on seeing the Spirit moving in our day together and that the joy of His strength would be my song amidst any trial. They need me to take advantage of the thanksgivings in our day and to focus on the heart of the matters and not others opinions of their behaviors. 

My husband needs to see me laugh without fear for what God holds for our future. He needs forgiveness in the unmet desires and grace for shortcomings. He needs Christ to be my first love and thru that depth I will be able to more consistently outpour that to him. 

Eternal perspective needs to order my steps for thru that view every step has its purpose. 

My emotions do not rule for God's word needs that authority in my heart.

 

Every season is seen by God, known by God, and purposed by God. His plan can never be thwarted and my faith needs that view to keep me steady in His care. 

I may feel like i am merely surviving and I yearn to feel thriving in utilizing my gifts, but I must believe that if all gifts are from Him then I am thriving in all the purposed ways from Him. 

When the world presses in, my view needs to be that God is bigger than any fear. 

I must choose to hope in what God offers in his Word. 

Like Mary in a mary/martha world, I choose to sit at Jesus feet instead of being distracted by other things. That time in the Word and those moments in prayer need to be the first priority of my everyday. Anything should be laid down if it takes over those moments. 

I have value not thru others acceptance but thru Christ's love- for his love is unconditional, unwavering and pure.

 

I am cared for not bc others show up when I want them to but bc God, My Rock, clefts me in to His care. 

I am loved thru the unmerited grace of my salvation. 

I choose to love others by bearing all things and enduring all things. 

I choose to show up in others sufferings bc God has given me direction in His Word and thru Jesus example and not only when others show up in mine. 

I am responsible for how I respond to my circumstances and how they control me or deepen my faith. I choose to take my thoughts captive and to rest under the authority of Christ. 

The brevity of life is omnipresent and i choose to grieve with hope that no matter what I am asked to release in this life that the best gift is awaiting me in glory with Him. 

I choose to believe that no matter how my weaknesses attempt to surface that God's strength is no comparison. I will believe that He died knowing my wrestlings and arose so that they would never keep me dead in sin. I am alive in Christ, awakened in passion thru His grace and met with His steadfastness thru any circumstance. 

I choose to believe that God offers rest in my weariness and that His Spirit is at work in me to help in any time of weakness. 

"Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee." Augustus. I choose to hide myself in the Lord and not to be defeated when I do not feel him. I will trust that His presence is always there. 

I choose to follow teachings of David and allow myself to feel the pain of whatever life I am in the midst of but thru Christ not allow myself to stay there. I am an overcomer in Christ and will invite Christ to help me understand my emotions. 

I choose to trust that as God provided manna for the Israelites that He holds the same provision for my family. I choose to steward with thanksgiving, the amount He grants us financially and to not be anxious for the unseen. 

I choose to be a daughter of Christ that "refuses to be beaten- who will get up, dust myself off and cast my net one more time." I choose to be intentional to stay in the fight against the battle with the enemy and to know that the Sword of the Spirit will always be my greatest defense. 

I choose to root out lies I am tempted to believe, release guilt from mistakes, and to reclaim freedom as a daughter of Christ. 

I choose to organize my life's schedule to be open to serve others in need and to care about the ways I can extend to the plights of the world. I choose to not let myself be blinded to self absorption and pride and will pray for humility to guide the ways I invest my time, my gifts, and my finances. 

I choose to believe that if I desire something that feels void in my season that God is withholding for His good. I choose to let it be a tool to sharpen my focus in Him and not a way for the enemy to make me doubt His presence. 

I believe that He never forsakes or abandons. He is my rescuer, my one defense, and my stay. 

I believe that this season has been for His time and that 'under every season there is a time and a purpose." I will not feel that I have been wasted in ministry, unused by the Lord, or missed the mark for better things. I trust in my El Roi, my God who sees, and believe that He is equipping me daily for His purpose at work thru my life. 

May I be attentive to His voice, sensitive to His spirit, and obedient to HIs Word. 

Moments never forgotten...

Our last moments in Kenya were marked with an emotional embrace that could never be articulated fully in words. Our hearts are pierced by the lives of faith who have taught us deeply about true compassion and extended love. Through the heart of Christ, we have abundantly been blessed to receive a Kenyan family that will stretch across all waters and distance apart. Releasing day to day proximity is no easy feat as we value the ways God continues to use each of their lives and their presence to sharpen us and to challenge us in the faith.

This week we were able to work alongside a group of men from the States as they spent time in fellowship with our leadership team and prayed over them thru a footwashing and a time of encouragement. It was a beautiful moment as Daniel expressed the story of Saul being lifted down by ropes (in Acts) so that he could continue to share the gospel. He voiced the picture of all of us being the ropes for the men- that we are all serving a part of advancing the gospel, but that as we are away from Ngong, we serve as their ropes- supporting them, encouraging them, working together for the sake of Christ- such a beautiful depiction of our family in Christ. The Ngong leadership team then joined in a circle, hand in hand, as many prayers were lifted on their behalf- prayers for unity, for passion, for devotion, and for vision as they take on the reigns to carry out the mission in Ngong. We are now holding the ropes as they go forth and fiercely love the community of Ngong. We are eager to return and to witness the many kids who will be mentored thru the devoted efforts of our Kenyan family.

As we spent our last moments on the site, we looked across the track, the field, Gichagi (the slum), and the Ngong hills and were filled with inexpressible joy for the Lord’s faithfulness over these past 16 months. The Lord has powerfully revealed that He works thru our weaknesses to display His strength. We have felt like Noah building the ark many times over this time- in moments feeling the impossibilities that are seen from our own view, but in the Lord’s plan His purpose always prevails. Once again, hand In hand with our guys, we will remember this last moment singing together, Na we we tu Bwana- Its only you, my Lord...Their voices will forever ring in our hearts as we know that the it is the Lord who has raised them up for service and it is the Lord who will make all things grow. As Paul expresses to the church in Corinthians, Who is Paul? Who is Apollos? For it is the Lord who makes all things grow. We have only been used as a vessel to bring the vision to the hearts of Ngong- Each of you were holding the ropes as we were released into Ngong 16 months ago, and now it is our position to hold the ropes for each of our guys. We believe in them and we trust that the Lord will boldly use their hearts as a vessel to pour out His love and His purpose.

we wish that we could have captured this moment ‘live’ yet it is permanently etched in our hearts for any moment of recollection. As we are making our final steps down Ngong hill, little Lucy skips out of her home with the most captivating smile we have seen from her yet. Life’s hand is displayed upon her torn dress and her dirty frame. This hug is unlike any other we have known- an embrace that only the Lord has orchestrated and a connection that can never be torn. Lucy is like our own- thru and thru- and quickly tears became a waterfall as we knew our moment had come to release our daily proximity with her and the other ‘least of these’. The Lord beautifully connected our lives as one and her life’s testament will be one that pushes us in our life decisions back in the States. Making this transition ushers a culture shock almost impossible to fully articulate, but one that we will not make without carrying each Kenyan family with us. May we not forget how we can organize our lives to continue in close, daily proximity with each of our Kenyan brothers and sisters.

Grayson is Kenyan thru & thru as he has spent 8 months of his life with the people and amidst the bounty of the land. Each person has poured deep love over him, prayed over his days, and encouraged his life in more ways than I express. He has many little friends who are awaiting their day to walk hand in hand with him. We were humbled by his life as we were able to welcome our brother Albert’s little girl- Trishia:)- into the world. We enter the hospital that is situated in the heart of Matheri- the slum where children are plagued by the effects of a trash heap as their home. Albert’s wife welcomed their little one along with 3 other women in the world who were also receiving their children at the same time. Sweet Albert was the one responsible to fix his wife chai and bread so that they could have something to eat that day. A much different experience than State side. We do not want to forget the ways that the Lord has generously protected Grayson and continued to grow him to this point. Even though we will be delivering State side, Grayson will be welcomed into this world by many family across the world. May the Lord grant us the provision to connect them together once again...

Prayers for the weeks ahead.

As you know, our season on the ground in Kenya is quickly coming to a close come Nov. 2nd. The enemy is working in great ways to throw vast opposition our way. Yet, it encourages us to know that the Lord who is calls us is faithful and that His purpose can never be thwarted! We know that His love over Ngong far outweighs and defeats any attack the enemy throws our way. With only 2 full weeks remaining, the enemy desires for us to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Yet, in the Lord's gentle embrace, we feel fueled for the days ahead and encouraged at how His strength is able to shine! He is most glorified in our weakness and we know that none of our efforts will succeed in us alone. We covet your prayers over these final weeks here: 

- We are finalizing all the positions at this time, but see the enemy's attacks over the leadership team. God desires unity and love to fuel effectiveness for His purpose. So of course the enemy desires discord and dissension. We pray great protection over the team as a whole and individually for the guy's relationship with the Lord to guide their steps. If you could pray for these guys by name: Elly, Vinny, Bizmark, Peter, Shadrack, Benard, Simon, Albert, Patrick: and pray for how the Lord has raised them as a leadership team and how they will combat the attacks of the enemy. 

- Pray for us as we train them in their new roles and for the guys to feel competent and encouraged in the timing in which we leave them. 

- Pray also for us as we transition from our time here to our new season in the States. It will be no easy venture to leave our family here, but we are thankful to be embraced by so many loved ones there. Pray that we can maximize these last days with the people and be intentional in our moments with them. 

- Trishia is approaching 31 wks of pregnancy and so far the Lord has granted great health for her and Grayson. Pray for continued protection and for His hand to embrace them both as we fly back and await the arrival of our son.