Thursday, May 28, 2015

I choose...

It has been 4 years since this blog has voiced teachings God is giving us in our life. Over the season from Kenya to our present, God has spoken deeply into us toward the importance of intentionality, living out the pulls of life and recognizing the vital necessity of making quiet moments before the Lord  be part of our everyday.  He has spoken into us the beauty of biblical community living out the iron sharpening iron truth, the deepening of discipleship being part of our lifestyle, and the strength of choosing where our investments lie. This blog comes from the impact of 4 years of being tried, tested, stretched, and refined. This time has revealed to us that if we don't choose to live in freedom in Christ that the enemy will find his way to enslave our hearts and that always changes perspective. So, I choose, to proclaim who God is and who i am in Him. 

I choose...

"ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name..." ps 29:2 

Listened to a sermon by John Piper that spoke about the description of Cs Lewis as possessing "omnivorous attentiveness"- defined by "taking in or using whatever is available." What an incredible prayer to become: someone who takes in and uses whatever is available in their season. He continued to voice that the opposite of this is the callous inability to enjoy God's gifts. This led me to sit before the Lord today and reflect on these past years in our Fayetteville season and to recognize the teachings that thru the various trials and stretchings that I yearn to choose to become- that this season is being held by Him and that it is intended for the display of His good...

Here is my prayer for how I yearn to choose to let this season refine in me for whatever the future holds and to be present within the everyday of this season as God purposes me to be. 

Do I believe that there is purpose and provision in my season?  

In the ways that I have met my failures in this season with guilt and shame, I pray to use them to bring me closer to the beauty of the Cross and to let the days to come display a daughter of Christ trusting in her Father, no matter the cost. 

Grayson, sage and griffin need a mother that will teach them the grace of the Cross as I embrace freedom from forgiving others wrongs. They need me fixated on seeing the Spirit moving in our day together and that the joy of His strength would be my song amidst any trial. They need me to take advantage of the thanksgivings in our day and to focus on the heart of the matters and not others opinions of their behaviors. 

My husband needs to see me laugh without fear for what God holds for our future. He needs forgiveness in the unmet desires and grace for shortcomings. He needs Christ to be my first love and thru that depth I will be able to more consistently outpour that to him. 

Eternal perspective needs to order my steps for thru that view every step has its purpose. 

My emotions do not rule for God's word needs that authority in my heart.
 
Every season is seen by God, known by God, and purposed by God. His plan can never be thwarted and my faith needs that view to keep me steady in His care. 

I may feel like i am merely surviving and I yearn to feel thriving in utilizing my gifts, but I must believe that if all gifts are from Him then I am thriving in all the purposed ways from Him. 

When the world presses in, my view needs to be that God is bigger than any fear. 

I must choose to hope in what God offers in his Word. 

Like Mary in a mary/martha world, I choose to sit at Jesus feet instead of being distracted by other things. That time in the Word and those moments in prayer need to be the first priority of my everyday. Anything should be laid down if it takes over those moments. 

I have value not thru others acceptance but thru Christ's love- for his love is unconditional, unwavering and pure.
 
I am cared for not bc others show up when I want them to but bc God, My Rock, clefts me in to His care. 

I am loved thru the unmerited grace of my salvation. 

I choose to love others by bearing all things and enduring all things. 

I choose to show up in others sufferings bc God has given me direction in His Word and thru Jesus example and not only when others show up in mine. 

I am responsible for how I respond to my circumstances and how they control me or deepen my faith. I choose to take my thoughts captive and to rest under the authority of Christ. 

The brevity of life is omnipresent and i choose to grieve with hope that no matter what I am asked to release in this life that the best gift is awaiting me in glory with Him. 

I choose to believe that no matter how my weaknesses attempt to surface that God's strength is no comparison. I will believe that He died knowing my wrestlings and arose so that they would never keep me dead in sin. I am alive in Christ, awakened in passion thru His grace and met with His steadfastness thru any circumstance. 

I choose to believe that God offers rest in my weariness and that His Spirit is at work in me to help in any time of weakness. 

"Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee." Augustus. I choose to hide myself in the Lord and not to be defeated when I do not feel him. I will trust that His presence is always there. 

I choose to follow teachings of David and allow myself to feel the pain of whatever life I am in the midst of but thru Christ not allow myself to stay there. I am an overcomer in Christ and will invite Christ to help me understand my emotions. 

I choose to trust that as God provided manna for the Israelites that He holds the same provision for my family. I choose to steward with thanksgiving, the amount He grants us financially and to not be anxious for the unseen. 

I choose to be a daughter of Christ that "refuses to be beaten- who will get up, dust myself off and cast my net one more time." I choose to be intentional to stay in the fight against the battle with the enemy and to know that the Sword of the Spirit will always be my greatest defense. 

I choose to root out lies I am tempted to believe, release guilt from mistakes, and to reclaim freedom as a daughter of Christ. 

I choose to organize my life's schedule to be open to serve others in need and to care about the ways I can extend to the plights of the world. I choose to not let myself be blinded to self absorption and pride and will pray for humility to guide the ways I invest my time, my gifts, and my finances. 

I choose to believe that if I desire something that feels void in my season that God is withholding for His good. I choose to let it be a tool to sharpen my focus in Him and not a way for the enemy to make me doubt His presence. 

I believe that He never forsakes or abandons. He is my rescuer, my one defense, and my stay. 

I believe that this season has been for His time and that 'under every season there is a time and a purpose." I will not feel that I have been wasted in ministry, unused by the Lord, or missed the mark for better things. I trust in my El Roi, my God who sees, and believe that He is equipping me daily for His purpose at work thru my life. 

May I be attentive to His voice, sensitive to His spirit, and obedient to HIs Word. 

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